- December 2006 -
12:30 PM GMT
in time for 2007, it's the definitive list of...
many others who enjoy music and ranking things, Rev.
Smith has made a regular
tradition of compiling a year-end list of his favorite
albums from that year. In the course of creating his
list, while viewing all the album releases listed
for the past 12 months on website RateYourMusic.com,
Smith marveled at the number of Metal albums released
this past year. Though Metal is a genre he was only
vaguely aware still existed, the startling discovery
quickly prompted Rev. Smith to compile a definitive
list of The
Best Metal Album Titles of 2006.
8:41 PM GMT
and sinners reconciled
After thousands of years of contention between
the two seemingly implacable groups, God and sinners
today reconciled. It had once been hoped that the death
of God's son at the hands of sinners 2,000 years ago
would bring about such reconciliation, but the act seemed
to have little actual effect on God's acceptance of
sinners or sinners acceptance of God. Experts suggest
it was only when each party was willing to see a little
bit of themselves in the other that congenial relations
could be reached. In a show of solidarity today, God
announced "I am a sinner," and many sinners
were spotted wearing buttons with slogans such as "Kiss
me, I'm God."
2:10 AM GMT
The Brick Testament - David
Christmas and happy holidays from The
Brick Testament! Our gift to you this year is one
final set of seven new illustrated stories in the King
Saul section of the website, featuring one of the
most famous confrontations of all time: David and Goliath.
And it would behoove us to mention that if you need
a last minute gift for your friends and loved ones this
holiday season, nothing says "I give totally awesome
gifts to my friends and loved ones" like a fine
hardcover book from the
Brick Testament book series.
8:46 PM GMT
Scholars: Jesus did not wear pants
Though many conservative
Christians have called the idea "too shocking to
even contemplate", critical New Testament scholars
are in wide agreement that it is "extremely improbable"
that Jesus of Nazareth wore pants. "They simply
were not invented or popularized yet," said controversial
scholar Robert M. Price. The no-pants theory has been
by the Vatican and many Evangelical leaders,
while others have reacted with resigned acceptance.
"It makes me feel a bit helpless, to be honest,"
says the Rev. James Fillmore of Atchison, Kansas, "How
can I seriously ask my congregation to worship a man
who walked around with no pants on?"
4:33 PM GMT
12 Iraqis in Baghdad killed by car bomb
The last twelve remaining Iraqis in the city of
Baghdad were killed this morning when a car bomb exploded
just outside the city's US-protected safety area or
"green zone". It was the 30,916th car bomb
attack in Baghdad this year, bringing the Iraqi population
of the city down to 0 from its high of nearly 7 million
at the start of the US-lead invasion in 2003. US President
George Bush commented that the complete depopulation
of Baghdad was "unfortunate," but that he
believes it is a price worth paying for the establishment
of democracy in the Iraqi capital.
10:05 PM GMT
Smith gives a shit
In an impromptu speech delivered at an area Wendy's
today, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith sought to dispel
recent rumors by announcing to a surprised and mildly
curious lunchtime crowd that he is "someone who
truly gives a shit". "In a world marked by
ever increasing apathy and cynicism," said Smith,
reading from prepared remarks, "too many people
of my generation just do not give a shit about anything.
That's not me." Smith proceeded to list off more
than thirty-five causes or entities about which he "truly
and deeply gives a shit" before sitting down and
finishing his 1/2 pound Jalapeno Cheddar Double Melt
and Biggie Fries. He was last spotted heading toward