- December 2000 -
12\29\00 - 8:08 AM GMT
White House tour
Smith was treated this evening to a candlelight tour of the White House
where he received a hero's welcome from longtime friend
and associate Chelsea Clinton. "I was so, so worried
about you!" exclaimed the usually stolid Clinton,
throwing her arms around him. "This is a big, nice
house," said Smith, commenting on his surroundings.
Despite three weeks stranded in space, Smith appears
in good health. "I sure hope not all his
muscles are atrophied," winked Clinton.
12\27\00 - 12:51 PM GMT
Smith splashes down
NASA experts this morning guided Rev. Smith on a perilous journey back
to the Earth after 21 days stranded in space. Detaching
himself from the International Space Station, Smith
desperately flung himself toward home, allowing gravity
to pull him down. It was only by wrapping himself in
over 200 layers of bubble wrap that he narrowly avoided
being burnt up in the atmosphere. After a grueling 4
hour "free fall", Smith opened his makeshift
paper mache parachute, eventually landing safely in
the reflecting pool of the National Mall in Washington,
DC, just moments ago.
12\25\00 - 8:08 AM GMT
Christmas in Space
The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith is spending this Christmas out in space,
orbiting the Earth at a speed of 17, 500 mph. At this
speed, like Santa Claus, he is able to travel around
the world several times in just one night. Smith will
celebrate today by consuming two packets of freeze-dried
goose-substitute, and drinking eggnog through a tube.
"I think I'd like to come down now," said
Smith cheerily. "Please?"
12\21\00 - 5:46 PM GMT
Controversial album artwork
The official release of The Human
Heads debut album here come the heads had
been hamstrung by the legal department of mp3.com who
are refusing to approve the album's cover art, raising
doubts over the legality of using the photo taken by
Rev. Smith. Five songs from the album can currently
be heard on the band's mp3.com
12\18\00 - 9:22 PM GMT
World's tallest snowman
A group of professors and undergraduates at Stockholm University have
successfully erected the world's tallest snowman. The
enormous snow structure is so large that Rev. Smith
reported he could see it from space with his naked eye.
The bottom sphere of the snowman is 7,000 times larger
than the Earth itself, and the top of the snowman is
only a few scant inches from the sun's surface.
12\15\00 - 9:22 PM GMT
Visit from the 3 Wise Men
Rev. Smith was paid an unexpected visit today by the 3 Wise Men, Gaspar,
Melchior, and Balthasar, who are best known for their
yuletide visit to see the newborn Christ child. Smith
reported that their meeting was brief but very pleasant,
with the Wise Men offering their characteristic gifts
of gold, and frankincense, and myrrh. "I was nearly
out of frankincense," admitted Smith, "so this
visit comes at just the right time."
12\12\00 - 7:50 AM GMT
Cat / dog violence continues
Clashes between dogs and cats continued yesterday leaving one dead and
dozens injured, heightening tensions, and raising fears
of an all-out war. The new violence comes on the heels
of Rev. Smith's attempt to negotiate a peace settlement
between the leaders of the two factions, Spot and Mr.
Floofy. Anti-peace dogs, responding angrily to Smith's
efforts, called for a "Day of Loud Barking".
12\09\00 - 12:03 PM GMT
VENDETTA is back!
After a phenomenal debut on the web last Christmas season, one the web's
most popular films ever, Vendetta:
A Christmas Story is back again for the holidays.
Written by and starring none other than our own Rev.
Brendan Powell Smith, Vendetta is an instant
holiday classic to share with the entire family. View
12\06\00 - 10:41 PM GMT
Smith deployed onto space station
In what NASA officials are calling an "unfortunate mix-up",
The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith was deployed this morning
onto the International Space Station. "We were
supposed to be deploying a solar wing," said astronaut
Joe Tanner, "but with those big-ass space suits
on, it gets kind of hard to see what exactly you're
deploying." Smith is expected to be stranded in
orbit until the next scheduled space shuttle mission