- September 2005 -
1:49 PM GMT
Stone puts Brick
Testament on Hot List
current issue of Rolling
Stone magazine (6 October 2005 with Evangeline Lilly
on the cover) has a piece on The Brick Testament as
part of their cover story, the Hot List 2005.
Under the category "Hot Blasphemy" the short
article (found on page 98) features an illustration
of Jesus on the cross (from The
Law section of the website), provides a quote from
creator Brendan Powell Smith, and
lovingly describes the project as "filthier
than Hustler", "more violent then The Sopranos",
and "the greatest story ever told."
9:42 PM GMT
FOX shows: American Guy and Family Dad
With the success of both
Family Guy and American Dad, FOX Television
has hired Seth McFarlane to develop two additional animated
series for their network: American Guy and Family
Dad. Each new show will feature an overweight, annoying
father and his dedicated, attractive wife, plus two
nondescript kids. American Guy will also have
a pet cat who lusts after the wife, while Family
Dad's cast will be rounded out by a pet gerbil who
lusts after the wife. If the two new shows fare well,
FOX is said to be considering two additional series
that McFarlane has pitched: American Family and
5:10 PM GMT
Brick Testament: Samson and Delilah
Brick Testament website has been updated
today with an illustrated version the Bible's most famous
love story, that of Samson
and Delilah. Also presented are the story of Samson's
to a Philistine prostitute, and that of his ultimate
demise as a proto-suicide bomber in a place that
would later become known to the world as the
Gaza Strip. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the above-mentioned
prostitute also worked part-time as a dancer at a place
called The Gaza Strip. I think I read that in
the Talmud or something.
12:08 AM GMT
seeks restraining order against world
Rev. Smith this morning appeared
before a Santa Clara county circuit judge, seeking a
restraining order against the rest of the world. Smith
gave testimony to the effect that the rest of the world
is "out to get him", providing police and
medical reports to back up his statements. Judge Horatio
Vaslquelez listened to Smith for four and a half hours
and has promised a decision later in the day. If granted,
the rest of the world will by required to stay at least
1500 feet away from Smith at all times and will be prohibited
from owning or possessing any firearms while the restraining
order is in effect.
2:50 AM GMT
Brick Testament: Samson -- the early years
Brick Testament is back (from a brief hiatus) with a
and smell, and to celebrate, five new stories have
been added to the Book
of Judges, chronicling the early years of the Israelites'
eleventh and most famous judge, the mighty, murderous,
and none-too- bright Samson.
See as he squares off against a raging lion, poses an
inept riddle to the Philistines, and then slaughters
lots and lots of people. And manages to squeeze in a
failed marriage while he's at it. For completeness'
sake, there's also the story of Israel's eighth,
ninth, and tenth judges. Enjoy.
7:53 PM GMT
declares moral bankruptcy
Rev. Smith filed for moral
bankruptcy this week, seeking a way out from his mountain
of unfulfilled moral obligations and unatoned-for sin.
"My advisors were urging me to spiritually invest
in Jesus Christ as a sensible way of having my sins
forgiven and getting a fresh new start," said Smith,
"but a cold, hard look at the facts reveals that
it would have taken upwards of 172 crucified messiahs
to cancel out just my religious offenses, not to mention
my various other moral failings." Smith says hopes
to be back on the road to moral solvency by sometime
in late 2017.
11:42 AM GMT
The nation's first all-volunteer
Arby's opened today in Mountain View, CA. Mayor Matt
Pear was there for the ribbon cutting ceremony, and
stayed to enjoy a Big Montana slathered in Horsey Sauce.
"It warms the heart to see these men and women
so giving of their time," said Pear, "bringing
nourishment and satisfying the appetites of the community."
Rev. Smith was on hand for the event as well, shaking
hands and enjoying some Jalapeno Bites with Bronco Berry
sauce. Smith will return to the Arby's later this week
as a volunteer on the graveyard shift.
9:15 PM GMT
declares "war on God"
Reacting to the devastation
and loss of lives in New Orleans by hurricane and flood,
President Bush today defiantly announced, "This
act of God will not stand". "Make no mistake,"
said a resolute Bush, "the perpetrator of this
cowardly attack on America will be brought to justice."
The president called for all civilized nations of the
world to join the US in declaring a "war on God".
Though the supreme being's current whereabouts are unknown,
Bush vowed that the US military will "smoke Him