- June 2001 -
6\28\01 - 6:46 PM GMT
Balls in your mouth
Pleased to discover the taste sensation he'd discovered
in China now available in his own hometown, Rev. Smith
stopped by a local café today and ordered a pearl
milk tea. A combination of hot black tea and sweetened
condensed milk, it is often served with lots of soft
and gummy black tapioca balls, or "pearls",
which are sucked up with the tea through an extra-wide
straw. "Yummy," stated Smith.
6\25\01 - 7:18 AM GMT
An exhibition of Rev. Smith's LEGO creations from
the past year is now available online at www.thereverend.com/lego.
Included here are such works as his famous 8 foot 6
inch LEGO Tower, and the recently completed LEGO Colosseum.
The site is in no way sponsored, authorized, or endorsed
by The LEGO Group®, which wholly condemns Rev. Smith
and any use by him of their product.
6\22\01 - 7:18 AM GMT
The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith suffered a mishap
while making breakfast this morning when he accidentally
got his head stuck in a Belgian waffle maker. It is
unclear at this time exactly how this happened. Discovered
hours later by a neighbor who had heard loud yelping
noises, local police and firefighters were quickly called
to the scene, but were unsure how to proceed. "It
might be best to just leave it on at this point,"
mused one. "We could try using the Jaws of Life,"
offered another, "but it sure wouldn't be pretty."
6\19\01 - 3:41 PM GMT
Here are the heads
At long last the critically
lauded debut album from Rev.
Smith's band The
Human Heads is now available in all its glory --
with full cover and cd artwork, liner notes, and the
works, only at ampcast.com.
"Finally," stated a teary-eyed Smith, "the
best album of 2000 is now available to the public in
6\16\01 - 11:29 PM GMT
Jam for peace 2
Heads did their part today in a second attempt to
bring about world peace through an open-mic style musical
get-together staged in the heart of San Francisco. Playing
to a capacity crowd, the group played a rousing five
song set during which they debuted a brand new song
and unleashed a cover of the song "Pressure"
that would have had Billy
Joel rolling in his grave. If he were dead, that
6\11\01 - 8:24 PM GMT
A professional appraiser stopped by to inspect Rev.
Smith today. "The whole process only took about
15 minutes," explained Smith shortly afterward.
"I'm not really sure what he was looking for, but
it's hard to believe he could accurately asses my entire
worth as a human being in so short a time." He
then added, "but I guess he's a professional and
stuff." Asked what the results of the appraisal
were, Smith only revealed, "a hell of a lot less
than I would have imagined."
6\7\01 - 12:19 AM GMT
Rod Stewart: not impressed
After getting his hands on an early-release copy
come the heads and giving it a good listen,
veteran rocker Rod Stewart was reportedly "not
impressed". Admitting he was a big fan Smith's
work with late 80s pop powerhouse GOF
UGNÜT, but only lukewarm toward Smith's solo
work, Stewart said he held out hope upon learning
that Smith had a new band. Said Stewart, "I don't
think this Human
Heads group is going anywhere too soon."
6\3\01 - 3:46 PM GMT
One hand larger than
Rev. Smith realized today that one of his hands
is larger than the other one. Seventy-eight times larger.
"I am unsure as to how I've been able to overlook
this startling incongruity for so many years,"
said a slightly confused Smith this morning. He then
went out in search of a store selling oversized gloves
so he can keep his freakish physical anomaly from the
public's eye. He also announced plans to use his giant
hand to pummel the crap out of a certain bully who beat
him up in grade school.