The LEGO Colosseum

Built in ancient city of Legora in the Year of our Minifig Lord 43 A. D., the LEGO Colosseum was an architectural triumph of the middle Empire period of LEGO Roman history. Holding a capacity of 250 minifigs, the stadium played host to all means of barbarous and gory gladiatorial combat.

The LEGO Romans mastered the art of building round structures out of square bricks. Some say the colosseum was built just to better their rivals, the LEGO Carthaginians, who had just completed their impressive Squareosseum.

The "cracks" between the seating sections were an intentional measure to provide greater stability in the event of an earthquake.

Eager crowds arrive hours - sometimes days early to ensure the best seating, especially when big name gladiators were likely to be grotesquely mauled.

"Have you heard about the new BT-16?"
"I've heard it's quite a thing to see."

The grand Emperor Bigus Brickus and his wife Incontinentia Buttocks.

In a remarkable demonstration of ancient democracy, the gladiator's foes and available weapons are chosen by popular vote.

A challenge for ancient history buffs: see if you can spot the historical inaccuracy in this scene.

A broom, although unassuming at first glance, can be a formidable weapon...

As a wedding present to his wife, the emperor had the colosseum flooded with a sea of flowers in which his finest gladiators butchered each other.

It was not uncommon practice to sell your firstborn child into slavery just to get decent seats at the gladiatorial games.

A creature so foul, and so cruel that no man ever fought with it and lived...

Needless to say they were immediately devoured.

Fifteen arches make up the bottom and middle rows, with twenty-four arches on the top for a grand total of fifty-four arches.

Flags were often flown for special arena events. Red flags meant that a bloody battle was assured. It's the only color flag that was flown.

Security at such events is extremely tight.

As the games begin, the crowd cheers, the bets are placed, and many hot dogs, snacks and refreshing soft drinks are available at the concession booths below the stands.

Exotic animals are brought to fight in the arena from across the empire, such as this polar bear from Jerusalem.

Sometimes the odds are stacked against the gladiator.

That's correct! It is now believed that the stegosaurus's largest spiked plate was not in the middle of its back, but closer to its hind quarters.

...but only in the hands of a master.

She was reportedly so moved by this combination of beauty and utter debauchery that she vomited with joy.

And if you could afford no better, there was usually something available in the "freak seats" section.

And any man so fool enough to try met a quick death with nasty big pointy teeth.

The colosseum was built in only three days, though some suspect the Romans had help from the "Hand of God".

It has been calculated that if all the bricks that make up the colosseum were laid end-to-end, they would circle the universe 57 million times.

Originally the flags would fly at half-mast to mark the death of a gladiator, but soon the flag-raisers became so overworked their arms fell off.

Fierce legionnaires stand guard, ever vigilant, and only occasionally falling asleep.

Gladiators come from many walks of life including criminals, the unemployed, Christians, and village idiots.

It's OK, folks, he hasn't so much lost a hand as gained a charming bloody stump.

...and sometimes they're not.

Sometimes the emperor scalps his own seats at upwards of 300 gold a piece!

The colosseum is flooded on occasion to present mock sea battles (and to wash away months of dried blood and carnage).

Although gladiatorial combat seems morally repugnant to us today, nobody really thought to question it at the time.

Legend tells of the fiercest competitor ever to set foot in the LEGO colosseum...

An entire legion was called upon to subdue this Snuggles the Cat.

The colosseum stood until A.D. 216 when it was razed by invading Bionicle tribes.


All images copyright 2001-2003 by The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith.
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