Nobody in the small English city of Brikingham has ever stopped to wonder why the clock in the the city's tower has kept perfectly accurate time for the past 97 years without so much as a single winding or any external power source. It's just always been taken for granted that someone maintains it. Little do the city's inhabitants know, the secret of the Old Clock Tower is about to become the impetus for an intergalactic battle royale.

In this aerial view, we see that the city is encompassed by an efficient monorail system, which together with the bus line, has virtually wiped out the need for citizens to own cars.

In fact, the clock had total efficiency. Clockworthy had ingeniously devised a way to make the clock's own movement power itself.

Life proceeds as normal now, here in Brikingham, the inhabitants blissfully unaware of the fate that is to befall them.

Those pizza ovens reach temperatures upward of 16 degrees Celsius.

Who doesn't love a piping hot cup of Starbuks brand coffee? Nobody, that's who.

The futuristic looking Brikingham Monorail was designed by Prof. Clockworthy just before his death in 1964.

McDonald's prides itself on its strict adherence to the highest levels sanitary food preparation.

To the left of Madame Lulu's Psychic Bazaar is the mall's jewelry store.

Gun Shoppe proprietor Martin Ambrose is one of the biggest American Civil War buffs in England.

The Brikingham Zoo's cramped living conditions have earned it seventeen Worst Zoo awards since it opened in 1980.

Sir Reginald Brikingham Memorial Park features a statue of the city founder in full battle pose.

The library is experimenting with a new Books-on-Video program, hiring local actors to act out books as they read them aloud.

Construction workers are blasting out rock in order to give the new Monorail Hub Station a badly needed first floor.

On particularly shiny days, you can sometimes see your own reflection as you withdraw some cash from the ATMs.

The city's lack of sidewalks can make it tough for those confined to wheelchairs, but the lack of cars improves your odds.

The Old Clock Tower was erected in 1905. The eminent Professor James L. Clockworthy was responsible for both the architecture and inner working of the clock itself.

When the professor realized what he had created, he kept the secret of his perpetual motion machine to himself - lest its power fall into the wrong hands.

People go about their usual business, heading off to work or school, robbing the local bank...

In accordance with the 1999 law, Brikingham opened its mandatory Starbuks cafe.

For the right price, the city's safety inspector was able to overlook that time the Waste Facility mixed up one of its containers with one of Starbuk's outdoor coffee vats.

Just beyond the bus stop we see the entrance to the Olde Brikingham Gun Shoppe, now part of the Mall at Brikingham.

Whether you are bald or just have unsightly hair, the Hat Shoppe can help you cover your head with style.

Scientific studies have shown Madame Lulu's prophecies to have an accuracy rating of 50%.

Martin's spartan apartment is located on the second floor of the building.

Many area children have learned a valuable life lesson after attempting to pet the zoo's two crocodiles.

The ornaments on each side of his helmet signify the entrance and exit wounds where Sir Brikingham was shot clean through the head.

Just before his death, the ailing Prof. Clockworthy vowed to destroy his perpetual motion invention and its blueprints, lest it fall into the wrong hands.

The bustling monorail hub can now take passengers as far away as Covington Heights or West Brikingham.

If you enjoy folk music, you'll be sure to avoid Stanley the street musician and his ear-achingly bad renditions of traditional favorites.

If you need to make a phone call or read a newspaper, you can do those things here in Brikingham.

Applying his vast understanding of physics with his hatred for tardiness, Prof. Clockworthy devised a clock engine with unsurpassed efficiency.

He stored the only copy of the plans for his invention inside a compartment on the flagpole atop the tower.

Leo's Pizzeria is a popular spot for the locals who want to grab a quick bite to eat before going off to work.

At long last coffee-lovers no longer have to make the trek to neighboring West Brikingham for those great Starbuks products.

A tram and a pedestrian bridge get you up to the monorail boarding platform.

Other attractions at this outdoor mall include a hat shop and an Irish eatery known as McDonald's.

Also on display here is the original helmet worn in combat by city founder Sir Reginald Brikingham.

The Family Jewels sells priceless treasures from around the world for the best prices in the city.

Martin enjoys spending his weekends up on the roof, picking off pigeons in the zoo with his high caliber sniper rifle.

Just outside the zoo is one of Brikingham's seedier areas.

Brikingham supports a modest library, though to be honest, its inhabitants aren't all that interested in reading ever since TV came out.

But in his hurry to carry out the task before his demise, Clockworthy accidentally held the bazooka backward, blasting himself and most of his house into smithereens.

Passengers enjoy live musak piped in through speakers as they await arrival of their train.

Bad boy biker Dirk demonstrates the proper way to hand signal for a turn.

Burly man Walter proudly stands at Pink Station to debunk the myth that pink is an effeminate color for monorail stations.


All images copyright 2001-2003 by The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith.
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