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The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith

Population holding steady

Tuesday, November 16th, 1999 - 3:48 pm PST

Slightly allaying people’s fears of overpopulation, Rev. Smith today announced that for the 26th year in a row, his poulation has held steady at 1.  ”This news comes as a great relief,” said Smith’s mother who has long been a proponent of controlled population growth.  ”When I first heard that he had doubled in size, I feared the worst.”

Mustache comes under fire

Saturday, November 13th, 1999 - 11:24 pm PST

A pleasant social gathering turned ugly this evening, when Rev. Smith’s new facial hair styling came under heavy scrutiny by his peers.  ”Woah, what the hell is that?” asked one.  ”He looks like Hitler,” announced another.”  Smith, denying the similarity to the noted German evil-doer, has announced no plans to shave in response to these comments, and repeatedly made clear that he will not be attempting to grow it into a handle bar mustache despite perr pressure to do so.

LIFE & DEATH released, CD available online

Wednesday, November 10th, 1999 - 4:43 am PST

The new album by The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith is now available through mp3.com, and for a limited time is being offered for a special low price.  Check the music page here for more info, or go straight to Rev. Smith’s site at mp3.com to hear several songs from the new album.  And then buy yourself a copy - heck, why not?

Smith stands at periphery of celebrity

Friday, November 5th, 1999 - 8:27 am PST

A new study published this morning by H-NET/Fritz Media lists The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith as the 3,043rd most famous living American.  This position places Smith just outside the category of “celebrity”.  Smith’s current status is 157 notches higher than last year’s study, but he has failed to rise above the “occasioanlly noteworthy” category since 1993.

LIFE & DEATH tracklist

Wednesday, November 3rd, 1999 - 7:20 pm PST

Presented here are the titles of the songs that will appear on the upcoming album LIFE & DEATH by The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith:

PLUNGE
DROWN
RUN
THE APPLE
COME ALONG
DESTINY
I LIVED
LOVELY DAY
WASTED LIFE
SPIRAL
REST
PIPEFUL OF PAIN
THE NIGHT
REQUIEM
ME
LAST WORDS
WHY DO WE DIE
CIRCLE
RISE
IT’S OVER

Falsely Accused

Monday, November 1st, 1999 - 1:01 pm PST

The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith is on the run from the law, accused of a crime he did not commit.  Now he has 24 hours to clear his name, and his only hope of survival is his chimpanzee partner and a beautiful raven-haired woman who wants him dead.  When you’ve got nowhere to turn, and everything at stake, sometimes your worst enemy can be your only friend.  The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith is: Falsely  Accused.

Halloween preparations underway

Saturday, October 30th, 1999 - 7:49 pm PDT

Smith today informed close friends and associates that he plans to spend this Halloween “hiding out in his basement with a flashlight, some canned meats, bottled water, and a loaded and ready shotgun”.  A visibly shaking Smith continued: “I’ve heard about the whole computer virus doomsday thing, and if any of them little looters so much as approaches my front door looking for goodies, they’ll be in for one hell of a surprise.”

For Rev. Smith, it’s LIFE & DEATH

Thursday, October 28th, 1999 - 5:14 am PDT

The follow-up to IDEAS FOR SONGS by The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith will be released sometime in November, and has officially been titled LIFE & DEATH.  Rev. Smith has recorded at least 22 new songs for his solo sophomore effort.  Expect a full tracklist for the upcoming album to be posted here soon.

Smith calims to be “high on life”

Tuesday, October 26th, 1999 - 5:09 am PDT

Denying all recent charges of substance abuse, Rev. Smith today claimed to have achieved a “powerful natural high–one that goes beyond what illicit substances could possibly offer me”.  Speaking candidly to reporters, he told them “I feel good today, man, real good.  I’m just…high on life.”  Smith later declined to answer questions about an alleged Jones Soda and Mentos candy binge the previous night.

Penis caught in zipper (again)

Monday, October 25th, 1999 - 4:03 am PDT

For the fourth time in just over a week, Rev. Smith accidentally caught his penis in the zipper of his one-piece pajamas.  On one such occasion last Monday night, the local fire department was called, and the “jaws of life” were deployed in order to free Smith from the zipper.  ”This is a problem I believe I can overcome,” said a sore and mortified Smith today.

Jones Soda supply running low

Sunday, October 24th, 1999 - 4:09 am PDT

A new report issued today indicates that Rev. Smith’s personal supply of Jones Soda in running dangerously low.  ”I’ve got 3, maybe 4 full bottles left in the fridge right now,” said Smith gravely. “I should really go out and buy a lot more.”  Shaking his head slowly, he added “…a lot more.”

IDEAS FOR SONGS goes gold

Friday, October 22nd, 1999 - 6:55 am PDT

The debut solo album by The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith officially went gold this morning at 6:21 AM GMT.  A far cry from the multi-platinum selling successes Smith enjoyed while with international 80s pop sensation GOF UGNÜT, it is nonetheless seen by many as an accomplishment in sales for a self-released album.  Smith is currently hard at work on a follow-up album which is expected in November.