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The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith

Monolith found; effects unclear

Thursday, January 4th, 2001 - 9:38 am PST

While digging up his backyard to install a new septic tank, Rev. Smith today stumbled upon a medium-sized shiny black monolith which seems to have been purposefully buried there. After hesitating, Smith touch the monolith which soon began emitting a terrible high-pitched tone. Later in the day, Smith found that his word-finding ability in Boggle had nearly doubled and also that his computer was secretly plotting to kill him.

Real millennium starts next year

Monday, January 1st, 2001 - 11:43 am PST

Refusing to take part in any of the “grandiose party-throwing” surrounding this New Year’s Eve, Rev. Smith defiantly spent a quiet night at home, explaining to interested onlookers that it is technically quite incorrect for people to consider January 1, 2001 to be the start of the new millennium, since “not only was there no Year Zero, there was also never any Year Negative Zero.” There actual start of the 21st century, according to Smith, is February 12, 2002.

White House tour

Friday, December 29th, 2000 - 11:08 pm PST

Smith was treated this evening to a candlelight tour of the White House where he received a hero’s welcome from longtime friend and associate Chelsea Clinton. “I was so, so worried about you!” exclaimed the usually stolid Clinton, throwing her arms around him. “This is a big, nice house,” said Smith, commenting on his surroundings. Despite three weeks stranded in space, Smith appears in good health. “I sure hope not all his muscles are atrophied,” winked Clinton.

Smith splashes down

Wednesday, December 27th, 2000 - 12:51 pm PST

NASA experts this morning guided Rev. Smith on a perilous journey back to the Earth after 21 days stranded in space. Detaching himself from the International Space Station, Smith desperately flung himself toward home, allowing gravity to pull him down. It was only by wrapping himself in over 200 layers of bubble wrap that he narrowly avoided being burnt up in the atmosphere. After a grueling 4 hour “free fall”, Smith opened his makeshift paper mache parachute, eventually landing safely in the reflecting pool of the National Mall in Washington, DC, just moments ago.

Christmas in space

Monday, December 25th, 2000 - 8:18 pm PST

The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith is spending this Christmas out in space, orbiting the Earth at a speed of 17, 500 mph. At this speed, like Santa Claus, he is able to travel around the world several times in just one night. Smith will celebrate today by consuming two packets of freeze-dried goose-substitute, and drinking eggnog through a tube. “I think I’d like to come down now,” said Smith cheerily. “Please?”

Controversial album artwork

Thursday, December 21st, 2000 - 5:46 pm PST

The official release of The Human Heads debut album here come the heads has been hamstrung by the legal department of mp3.com who are refusing to approve the album’s cover art, raising doubts over the legality of using the photo taken by Rev. Smith. Five songs from the album can currently be heard on the band’s mp3.com website.

World’s tallest snowman

Monday, December 18th, 2000 - 9:22 pm PST

A group of professors and undergraduates at Stockholm University have successfully erected the world’s tallest snowman. The enormous snow structure is so large that Rev. Smith reported he could see it from space with his naked eye. The bottom sphere of the snowman is 7,000 times larger than the Earth itself, and the top of the snowman is only a few scant inches from the sun’s surface.

Visit from the 3 Wise Men

Friday, December 15th, 2000 - 8:40 pm PST

Rev. Smith was paid an unexpected visit today by the 3 Wise Men, Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthasar, who are best known for their yuletide visit to see the newborn Christ child. Smith reported that their meeting was brief but very pleasant, with the Wise Men offering their characteristic gifts of gold, and frankincense, and myrrh. “I was nearly out of frankincense,” admitted Smith, “so this visit comes at just the right time.”

Cat / dog violence continues

Tuesday, December 12th, 2000 - 7:50 am PST

Clashes between dogs and cats continued yesterday leaving one dead and dozens injured, heightening tensions, and raising fears of an all-out war. The new violence comes on the heels of Rev. Smith’s attempt to negotiate a peace settlement between the leaders of the two factions, Spot and Mr. Floofy. Anti-peace dogs, responding angrily to Smith’s efforts, called for a “Day of Loud Barking”.

VENDETTA is back!

Saturday, December 9th, 2000 - 12:03 pm PST

After a phenomenal debut on the web last Christmas season, one the web’s most popular films ever, Vendetta: A Christmas Story is back again for the holidays. Written by and starring none other than our own Rev. Brendan Powell Smith, Vendetta is an instant holiday classic to share with the entire family. View it today!

Smith deployed onto space station

Wednesday, December 6th, 2000 - 8:41 pm PST

In what NASA officials are calling an “unfortunate mix-up”, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith was deployed this morning onto the International Space Station. “We were supposed to be deploying a solar wing,” said astronaut Joe Tanner, “but with those big-ass space suits on, it gets kind of hard to see what exactly you’re deploying.” Smith is expected to be stranded in orbit until the next scheduled space shuttle mission in January.

here come the heads - tracklist, website

Monday, November 27th, 2000 - 8:35 am PST

The Human Heads official website is now online!  Check it out at www.thehumanheads.com.  In addition, the full 14-song tracklist for here come the heads has been released.  Here are the songs that made the album: In the Future, Oblivion, Egrets, We Tried, On My Head, Lost, The Forest, Sunshine Day, I Was Born, Not About This, This World, Unfulfilled, Go to Sleep, and Heaven. The official release is expected any day now.