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The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith

Stuff magazine likes Brick Testament book

Saturday, October 18th, 2003 - 9:58 am PDT

The latest issue of Stuff magazine features a recommendation for The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith’s The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis. Find it in the “Stuff picks” section on page 34 of the print magazine, or see it on the corresponding page of the Stuffmagazine.com website, just under the recommendations for the “boob scarf” and the ubiquitous Mr. Colon™.

Smith to rule with iron fist

Tuesday, October 14th, 2003 - 12:40 pm PDT

A finely sculpted fist made of pure iron was affixed to Rev. Smith’s wrist this morning, and by mid-afternoon Smith held a press conference announcing his plans to dominate the Earth. “Bow down to me,” barked Smith into a faulty megaphone as a small group of local news reporters and indigents looked on, “or face the awesome power of my fist!” Smith then demonstrated his newfound strength by placing an empty soda can atop the podium and flattening it. The podium then collapsed and it was revealed that Smith was not wearing pants. After an uncomfortable moment of silence, Smith sneezed and accidentally knocked himself out cold while trying to cover his nose.

Hook for hand

Saturday, October 11th, 2003 - 5:03 pm PDT

Rev. Smith went shopping today for a hook to replace his recently amputated right hand. “Does this hook make me look fat?” Smith was overheard asking fellow shoppers while trying on hook after hook at McAllister’s on 4th Street. Smith ended up forgoing the swankier models for an inexpensive plastic hook that came as part of a Halloween pirate ensemble. “I don’t plan on wearing the eye patch or the plastic parrot on my shoulder too often,” said Smith. “But that puffy shirt is right up my alley.” Smith then sneezed and accidentally hooked himself in the nose while trying to cover it up.

Smith sells hand for $372,000

Friday, October 10th, 2003 - 11:26 am PDT

Worshipped as a saint even before his death, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith and his various body parts have long been the subject of interest by those who traffic in holy relics. Finding himself in the grasp of a severe financial bind recently, Smith decided to “cash in one of his chips early” by selling his right hand to the highest bidder. “I’m really going to miss that hand,” said Smith wistfully after lopping it off with a hand axe, “but hey, $372,000 is nothing to sneeze at.”

Brick Testament reviewed on KFOG radio

Thursday, October 9th, 2003 - 5:31 pm PDT

“An astounding artistic achievment…by a truly enlightened soul” says reviewer Kevin Hunsanger of Green Apple Books in San Francisco, regarding Rev. Smith’s The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis. Hunsanger was a special guest on the Bay Area’s KFOG radio this morning, and reviewed many new book releases, but “saved the best for last” with his praise of Smith’s book. KFOG is the Bay Area’s “World Class Rock” and can be heard at 104.5 in San Francisco and 97.7 in San Jose.

Smith wins race in record time

Saturday, October 4th, 2003 - 8:12 am PDT

Rev. Smith won a race today in record time. “This was an impressive performance,” said Smith’s coach, “I really didn’t think he had it in him.” Others agreed: “I don’t know how he pulled it off,” said a friend, “I’ve never considered Smith particularly ‘fast’.” Many had discounted Smith’s chances before the race even began, due to his unspecified injury. “That injury really looked like it was bothering him at first,” noted one spectator, “but he just took off.” As of press time the nature of this race remained unclear.

Wake of 9/11 hits Smith

Tuesday, September 30th, 2003 - 11:50 am PDT

Though the shocking terrorist attacks of 9/11 happened just over two years ago, the wake of the attack did not hit Smith until early this morning. “Rev. Smith was at the breakfast table eating his cream of wheat when suddenly he got knocked right out of his chair,” said one onlooker. “He stayed on the ground for several minutes, and when he struggled to his feet, he suddenly looked extremely paranoid.” Smith spent the rest of the day stripping away his own personal freedoms, being wary of all foreign nationals, and bombing third-world counties.

The Brick Testament in Entertainment Weekly

Friday, September 26th, 2003 - 7:49 am PDT

Rev. Smith’s new book The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis is featured on page 78 of this week’s (3 October) issue of Entertainment Weekly. Look for Uma Thurman on the cover. An item about the book can also be found in the recommended reading for Fall section of the October-November issue of Budget Living. Both articles can be seen at the press page over at thebricktestament.com.

France surrenders

Monday, September 22nd, 2003 - 4:43 pm PDT

President Jacques Chirac surprised allies this morning with the announcement of the unconditional surrender of France. “I didn’t even know anyone was attacking them,” said a bewildered US Secretary of State Colin Powell, “was it us?” By midday no foreign power had claimed responsibility for the alleged attack on France. By 3pm GMT, government spokesperson Jean-François Copé admitted that France’s surrender had been a “knee-jerk” reaction to rumors of a military build-up in neighboring Luxembourg, and by 5pm, an emergency meeting of the French parliament narrowly approved a retraction of the surrender.

Publisher’s Weekly reviews The Brick Testament

Wednesday, September 17th, 2003 - 10:15 am PDT

“Hilarious!” raves Publisher’s Weekly in their review of Rev. Smith’s The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis. “One has to admire Smith’s LEGO engineering as well as his twisted, keen sense of humor…This creative, iconoclastic book is colorful in every sense of the word, and will be appreciated by LEGO enthusiasts everywhere as well as whimsical Sunday School teachers.” Read the full review on page 60 of the 15 September 2003 issue of Publisher’s Weekly, or on the press page at thebricktestament.com.

US interest rates at all-time low

Saturday, September 13th, 2003 - 7:51 am PDT

US interest rates have dropped for the fourth month in a row, plunging to an all-time low as modern-day Americans just cannot seem to interest themselves in much of anything these days. Despite a sudden surge of interest following the 9/11 attacks, American interest rates have been in steady decline over the past twenty years across the board, whether it be interest in current events, other people’s welfare, or even themselves. “Why bother?” said James Farragan a Pennsylvania steel plant worker, voicing an opinion common to many US citizens, “who cares?”

The Brick Testament book now in stores!

Friday, September 5th, 2003 - 3:43 pm PDT

Ladies and gentlemen of Earth, the first ever Brick Testament book has been officially released. The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis, published by Quirk Books, contains ten classic stories from the first book of the Bible with over 175 illustrated images from the much acclaimed website. This handsome hardcover book can now be found in bookstores across the nation, and is also available through online retailers such as Amazon.com.