Moon still there

Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 - 2:49 am PDT

According to astronomer’s, the Earth’s moon is still there. Although it has not been visited by humans in more than 30 years, and is often taken for granted or even forgotten about completely, scientists say that the moon “is still up there, you know, just doing it’s thing, revolving around the Earth, affecting the tides, getting hit by meteorites, your basic average moon stuff.”

The Brick Testament: a passion for Jesus

Friday, June 9th, 2006 - 4:21 am PDT

The Brick Testament website has been updated today with seven new stories chronicling the events of Jesus of Nazareth’s last days on Earth. After leading a ritual act of cannibalism and engaging in some naked group foot-washing at The Last Supper, Jesus is arrested for blasphemy under Jewish law, and sentenced to be executed. Will God intervene to save his only beloved son from a torturous and ignoble death? Find out!

Scissor used to create pant

Saturday, June 3rd, 2006 - 9:13 am PDT

Experimental linguists set out to boldly defy the rules of the English language this week, using a single tweezer to take apart a set of pliers. A resultant single plier was then used to separate a pair of scissors, and a single scissor was then used to cut a pair of pants from crotch to waist, creating two instances of a single pant. Further use of the scissor was employed to cut the pant just above the knee, resulting in a short. Head linguist Graham R. Stickler donned the short, but in doing so, broke the shades he had left in the back pocket, leaving him with only a single working sunglass.

Rev. Smith a guest on GodTalk

Monday, May 29th, 2006 - 7:50 am PDT

The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith was a call-in guest this week on GodTalk, a Christian talk radio program which airs every Sunday at 8pm on Winnipeg, Canada’s CJOB 68 AM. Smith talked with hosts David Balzer and Melissa McEachern about how he put the ideas of LEGO and the Bible together, the process of creating stories for The Brick Testament, and why someone who’s not religious would spend so much time wrapped up in the holy scriptures. The entire show can be downloaded in mp3 format at the GodTalk website, or by following this direct link.

Two Brick Testament books released in Korean

Wednesday, May 17th, 2006 - 11:17 pm PDT

The Bible has been translated into more languages than any other book, but The Brick Testament is hot on its heels. This month sees the release of Korean translations of both The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis, and The Brick Testament: The Story of Christmas. These latest books stand aside the German translation of Stories from the Book of Genesis, known as Das 1. Book L., and the Japanese translation of the same. If it’s getting hard to keep track, here’s a page with descriptions of each and sample pages showing the regional differences as The Brick Testament travels the four corners of the Earth.

Frog in throat, butterflies in stomach

Monday, May 8th, 2006 - 2:42 pm PDT

Rev. Smith was brought to the hospital this week with an unknown ailment whose symptoms included an unusually hoarse voice and a profound feeling of nervousness. A visual examination of Smith’s throat revealed an amphibious life form later identified as a frog lodged in his esophagus, and an x-ray of his abdomen showed a number of fluttering butterflies inside his stomach. Doctors were successfully able to remove both during surgery, and Smith was sent home to recover. In a seemingly unrelated incident, later that evening Smith’s cat swiped his tongue and does not appear willing to let go. Smith had no comment to make on his latest travails.

Gov’t seeks emergency to aid thriving oil industry

Saturday, April 29th, 2006 - 2:28 am PDT

With gas prices at all-time highs, and top oil companies reporting record profits, the government is scrambling to come to the aid of the thriving oil industry. One proposal has been to remove the 18.4-cent federal tax on gas, allowing oil companies to keep prices unchanged and reap the added profit for themselves. Another proposal has been to give every American family $100 which it must immediately pass on to the oil company of its choice through purchases of gas at the inflated prices that have driven the record profits of the oil companies. Said President Bush, “If poor and working class Americans don’t look out for the outlandishly rich, who will?”

Arbys: You’ll Learn to Love It™

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006 - 11:53 am PDT

Rev. Smith has once again been tasked with masterminding the latest slogan and related advertising campaign from the Arbys corporation. Striking a more conciliatory tone than previous ads Smith has created for the company, the latest Arbys TV spots note that “You may not like Arbys the first time you try it.” In fact, the new ads reach out to those who have tried Arbys several times without acquiring a taste for it. “Stick with it,” encourages a deep voice over video of an extreme close-up of a large man chomping on an Arbys sandwich. As the man’s mouth eventually breaks into an appreciative smile, the voice sounds the new slogan, “Arbys: You’ll Learn to Love It.”

George W. Bush has aids

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006 - 6:35 pm PDT

President George W. Bush today revealed to the American people that he has aids. He further explained that he has no plans to step down from his position because of his condition; that he has had aids since his days as governor of Texas; and that he firmly believes he can do as good or better a job as a president with aids than if he did not have aids. Bush said that his condition has helped him feel a special bond with all Americans who have aids, and has motivated him to promote any legislation which provides financial relief to people with aids, so that they might live more comfortable lives.

Smith joins group of Gulf War reenactors

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006 - 4:29 pm PDT

This Sunday, Rev. Smith will join hundreds of other self-proclaimed “Gulf War buffs” in the Nevada desert to reenact the famous Highway of Death battle which originally took place on 26 and 27 February 1991. Smith’s role in this, his first ever reenactment, is that of an Iraqi soldier whose body becomes charred beyond all recognition when US war planes relentlessly bombard his column of retreating soldiers which offers no resistance. Due to the intense desert heat, spectators of the reenactment event are expected to be limited.

The Brick Testament on German TV

Monday, April 3rd, 2006 - 5:03 am PDT

A camera crew from the German television station RTL stopped by Rev. Smith’s home recently to interview him and capture him at work on his ongoing project The Brick Testament. The material will be assembled for a five minute segment that will air on the popular “news magazine” program Explosiv sometime in the days leading up to Easter. Said Smith about his debut on German television, “Ich bin eine deutsche Fernsehenberühmtheit!”

New study: Praying doesn’t help people

Thursday, March 30th, 2006 - 9:54 pm PST

A rigorous ten-year, $2.4 million study testing for the beneficial effects of prayer found that out of 1,802 patients at three hospitals, those who were being prayed for (but did not know it) recovered no better than those who were not prayed for. Further, those who knew they were being prayed for had an 8% higher rate of medical complications than either of the other two groups. Scientists will next turn their attention to a $3.7 million study to determine whether people who walk under ladders have worse luck than those in a control group.