Study: 1 in 5 Americans a fucking retard

Sunday, August 22nd, 2010 - 4:00 am PDT

With the latest Pew poll showing that 18% of Americans believe that President Obama is a Muslim, researchers say they now have enough data to firmly conclude that one out of every five Americans is a fucking retard.  ”Although we’ve suspected as much for years,” said poll analyst Sanford Dwight, “having the numbers to back it up is both illuminating and frankly depressing.”  Offering a different take on this finding, researcher Jane McMinnitz writes, “It’s actually pretty amazing how much we’re able to accomplish as a nation when you consider just how awash we are in fucking idiots who will believe pretty much anything and need help tying their own shoes every morning.”