Morning constitutional ruled unconstitutional

Friday, May 22nd, 2009 - 10:19 pm PDT

A superior court judge has ruled that Rev. Smith’s practice of taking regular early morning fitness walks flies in the face of what our forefathers had in mind when they framed the guiding principles of our nation’s laws. “By waking up at the crack of dawn and taking a brisk walk through the hillside woods behind your home, Mr. Smith,” said judge Emmanuel Obermauer, “you are making a mockery of everything good and decent in our society’s moral underpinnings.” The judge then sentenced Smith to seventy-two minutes of community service, and added: “Next time wear some clothes, you pervert.”