Giant self-cannibalizing fast food items on rise

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009 - 3:40 am PDT

http://www.thereverend.com/images/hotdog.jpgIn what has become an alarming trend across North America, giant anthropomorphic fast food items have come to life and are eating themselves. On San Francisco’s Pier 39 last week, a giant  hot dog was seen squirting its own forehead with ketchup after giving itself eyebrows made of ketchup and mustard. Then today in Vancouver, British Columbia, a giant order of french fries was spotted consuming itself openly in public, causing panicked parents to flee with their terrified children in tow. Local authorities are also keeping an eye on a grotesquely anthropomorphic hamburger in Muncie, IN, that has taken to wearing a chef’s hat and is displaying what psychologists term “self-consumptive gestures”.