Archive for June, 2008

Most Americans would now support ‘blood for oil’

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

With the economy failing and gas prices surging past $4 a gallon, a new H-Net/Fritz Media poll shows that 70% of Americans would support a multi-year foreign war–even one with with high rates of American casualties–if it would succeed in lowering the price of oil. “I thought that’s what this Iraq War was supposed to do,” commented Shawn Ingersoll, a laid-off auto worker in DeWitt, MI. “I thought after five years we’d be looking at gas under a dollar a gallon. Man, I voted for Bush and Cheney cause they’re oil men, and I figured they’d know what they were doing.” He later added: “Which country do we have to invade and occupy to get the gas prices down?”

The Brick Testament: God dissolves Israel

Sunday, June 22nd, 2008

The legendary kingdom of Israel ruled over by David only remained united for about three generations before God hatched a convoluted plot that resulted in the kingdom being torn asunder, never again to achieve the size, power, or independence it had under David and Solomon. That is, of course, until God’s more recent and even more convoluted plot that resulted in 6 million dead Jews, but a restored and independent Jewish nation at long last. In the newest four illustrated stories on The Brick Testament, this whole process gets rolling as King Solomon dies of unspecified causes, and God’s inscrutable master plan gets underway.

Florida, Michigan delegates given half-seats

Sunday, June 1st, 2008

In a literally uncomfortable compromise solution, the Rules Committee of the Democratic Party voted this weekend to allocate delegates from Florida and Michigan half-seats at this summer’s national convention. “We want every state’s votes to count,” said DNC Chairman Howard Dean, “but these states willfully broke party rules and cannot go unpunished.” Dean expressed the committee’s hope that having Florida and Michigan’s delegates seated at the convention, but forced to squeeze in two-to-a-chair through three days of longwinded speeches will maintain the inclusivity of the party while making these states think twice before breaking party rules in future primary seasons.