Torture chamber found in White House basement

Monday, February 18th, 2008 - 10:23 am PST

While the President is away in Africa, a White House janitor today stumbled across the entrance to a hitherto unknown chamber located deep within a subbasement of the White House. The 15×20′ room contains a variety of gags, whips, chains, hoods, and harnesses, plus a single bed and a water faucet. It is unclear as of yet whether the room functions as a secret interrogation chamber for suspected terrorists, a perverse presidential pleasure dome, or both. While President Bush has invoked executive privilege in refusing to answer questions about the matter, former president Clinton told reporters this afternoon, “It certainly wasn’t there when I moved out. That’s not my thing.”