Child molester considering career as priest

Monday, October 22nd, 2007 - 8:36 pm PDT

Area gay child molester Donald Stevens, 29, announced today that he is seriously considering a career as a Catholic priest. Though raised a Methodist, Stevens says, “everything I’ve read about the Catholic church convinces me it would be a better fit.” Stevens believes the church’s close-knit male hierarchy will provide the structure he needs and will allow him to feel, in his words, “protected”. Though Stevens does not look forward to the four years of Catholic seminary ahead of him, surrounded by peers his own age, he believes it is a relatively small price to pay for a lifetime of being considered a trusted member of the community around whom “parents would feel safe leaving their little boys.”