Smith diagnosed with pedophobia

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007 - 5:30 pm PDT

After years of displaying telltale symptoms such as not finding infants even remotely cute, extreme displeasure at being around crying and screaming babies, viewing toddlers as far more annoying than endearing, and an utter lack of interest in children, The Rev. Smith was finally diagnosed by a team of doctors and psychologists this week as a pedophobe. This separates Smith from the vast majority of human adults who display an irrational love of and interest in children, a dominant group doctors refer to as pedophiles.