Mystery of disappearing frogs and bees solved

Tuesday, September 4th, 2007 - 3:34 pm PDT

Over the past several years, scientists have struggled to explain the dramatic and alarming declines witnessed among both frog and bee populations. Various proposed theories point to global warming, environmental toxins, or fungal pathogens as the root cause, but it now appears that there is a simpler albeit far more alarming solution to the mystery. The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith today confirmed that for the past ten years he has been stockpiling both frogs and bees for use in a future God-directed plague against mankind. “You might notice a dip in lice populations as well,” noted Smith.