Bush furious over latest intelligence leak

Friday, September 29th, 2006 - 11:56 pm PDT

President Bush reacted strongly today to the leak of a classified US intelligence committee’s finding that president Bush is a total fucking idiot. “Someone has taken it upon themselves to leak this highly classified information,” said a visibly angered Bush. “This was a cowardly and treasonous act. Making public sensitive information of this kind can only cause panic and embolden our enemies.” Bush went on to announce a criminal investigation into the leak, vowing to swiftly punish whoever was responsible unless it turns out to have been Karl Rove or Dick Cheney.