George W. Bush has aids

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006 - 6:35 pm PDT

President George W. Bush today revealed to the American people that he has aids. He further explained that he has no plans to step down from his position because of his condition; that he has had aids since his days as governor of Texas; and that he firmly believes he can do as good or better a job as a president with aids than if he did not have aids. Bush said that his condition has helped him feel a special bond with all Americans who have aids, and has motivated him to promote any legislation which provides financial relief to people with aids, so that they might live more comfortable lives.