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March « 2006 « The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith

Archive for March, 2006

New study: Praying doesn’t help people

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

A rigorous ten-year, $2.4 million study testing for the beneficial effects of prayer found that out of 1,802 patients at three hospitals, those who were being prayed for (but did not know it) recovered no better than those who were not prayed for. Further, those who knew they were being prayed for had an 8% higher rate of medical complications than either of the other two groups. Scientists will next turn their attention to a $3.7 million study to determine whether people who walk under ladders have worse luck than those in a control group.

Smith agrees to disagree

Friday, March 17th, 2006

Although you’ve made many compelling points in the course of the past three hour’s debate, and though it is fully conceded that your conclusion rests logically upon its foundation of premises, Rev. Smith nonetheless must insist that you and he will simply have to agree to disagree on the matter, seeing that it is, at its heart, a matter of opinion rather than a factual claim about an objective state of the world that could somehow be empirically proven by presenting evidence for or against. And so, good sir, carry on with your belief that Def Leppard is the best fucking band ever.

North Dakota missing

Thursday, March 9th, 2006

The state of North Dakota has gone missing. The sparsely populated state was last seen by neighbor Minnesota last Friday “somewhere east of Montana” before apparently vanishing without a trace. Authorities have yet to develop any strong leads in the case, and have not ruled out abduction. Canada has been brought in for questioning. Terrorism is being considered “an extremely remote possibility”, and many in surrounding states believe North Dakota will eventually come back of its own accord, as it did after disappearing for several weeks in the late 1970s.

The Brick Testament: The End of the World

Friday, March 3rd, 2006

The Brick Testament website has been updated today with seven new illustrated Bible stories. Follow along on the continuing adventures of Jesus Of Nazareth as he insults a Canaanite woman, sends out his minions to preach, reanimates a corpse, gets covered in nard, curses a tree, trashes a temple, and predicts the end of the world within the lifetime of his disciples. A splendid time is guaranteed for all. Except sinners. They will be cast down into a lake of fire to burn for all eternity.