Bush taps Bin Laden to run Homeland Security

Monday, February 27th, 2006 - 6:57 pm PST

President Bush announced today that he has chosen Osama Bin Laden as his new Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security. Bush appeared surprised by the immediate icy reaction to his announcement even among members of his own political party, and assured Americans that Mr. Bin Laden is a “terrorism expert”, further noting that there has been a long and friendly relationship between the Bush and Bin Laden families. “I trust him,” said Bush, “I think he’s going to make a heck of a Homeland Security chief.” Though congressional democrats have expressed grave concern over Bush’s choice, they say will likely do nothing about it. Said Sen. John Kerry: “You’ve got to pick your battles.”