Heaven full

Saturday, February 4th, 2006 - 11:53 am PST

Dying soon? You may want to hold off on that plan because expert theologians are reporting that heaven is full. No matter how virtuous their lives on Earth, those perishing today will be forced to make other accommodations for eternity. And you can’t count on staying in Limbo either. In fact, it was Pope Benedict XVI’s recent decision to alter Catholic doctrine to eliminate belief in Limbo which caused heaven to become suddenly and unexpectedly inundated with all those who died before Jesus brought salvation into the world, plus all the babies who lived after Jesus, but died before receiving baptism. Angels are reportedly working round the clock to add a new wing to heaven to accommodate the faithful. The expected completion date is 2017.