America divided into shirts and skins

Thursday, December 29th, 2005 - 3:39 pm PST

President Bush today called on all Americans to divide into shirts and skins for a nation-wide game of pick-up basketball. Bush named himself and vice-president Dick Cheney team captains and quickly began choosing players. Bush, who will lead the shirts team, chose Washington, DC, citizen Michael Jordan first, while Cheney, who will lead the skins team, chose longtime crony David J. Lesar, President and CEO of Halliburton Enegry Services, who has no previous basketball experience. Though many Americans are eagerly looking forward to the game, approximately 32 million citizens admitted they were worried about getting picked last.