America lacks fat rap star

Tuesday, November 8th, 2005 - 10:35 pm PST

With oil prices soaring, the economy stagnant, and the country bogged down in a overseas war, now more than ever the times call for a fat rap star to take our minds off our problems so we can instead listen to the problems of a fat rap star set to tight beats. While the 1980s gave us The Fat Boys and Heavy D, and the early 90s produced Sir Mix-a-Lot and Bizmarkie, ever since the deaths of Notorious B.I.G. and Big Pun at the end of the millennium, America has gone without (even though some dope-ass rap names like “Ova-w8″ or “Obese” go unclaimed). While some think D12’s Bizarre may be the answer to our prayers, others are putting their hope in Dr Dre gaining another 50 pounds and releasing a comeback album, born again as a fat rapper.