Smith declares moral bankruptcy

Monday, September 19th, 2005 - 7:53 pm PDT

Rev. Smith filed for moral bankruptcy this week, seeking a way out from his mountain of unfulfilled moral obligations and unatoned-for sin. “My advisors were urging me to spiritually invest in Jesus Christ as a sensible way of having my sins forgiven and getting a fresh new start,” said Smith, “but a cold, hard look at the facts reveals that it would have taken upwards of 172 crucified messiahs to cancel out just my religious offenses, not to mention my various other moral failings.” Smith says hopes to be back on the road to moral solvency by sometime in late 2017.