Death defied

Wednesday, June 15th, 2005 - 2:50 pm PDT

For the 11,637th day in a row, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith managed to defy death, successfully staying alive in the face of life’s innumerable potential pitfalls, pratfalls, and deadly afflictions. In the last twenty-four hours alone, Smith deftly avoided being struck by any of the 428 automobiles that crossed his path, kept clear of any and all falling anvils and open manhole covers, and did not succumb to any fatal physical ailments. Experts marveled that Smith “even considered this worth mentioning.”