Archive for June, 2005

More Americans on than watching reality TV

Sunday, June 26th, 2005

The growing surge in the number of reality TV shows, combined with a severe drop in the genre’s overall popularity has for the first time brought about a state of affairs where there are currently more American featured as participants on reality TV shows than there are Americans watching reality TV. “If all the people on these shows would even watch them when they are broadcast, this would not be happening,” said TV expert Langord Goldstein, “but most of the participants I’ve talked to who were on shows like Transvestite Island or Baby Momma Swap never want to see another reality TV show again in their lives.”

Death defied

Wednesday, June 15th, 2005

For the 11,637th day in a row, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith managed to defy death, successfully staying alive in the face of life’s innumerable potential pitfalls, pratfalls, and deadly afflictions. In the last twenty-four hours alone, Smith deftly avoided being struck by any of the 428 automobiles that crossed his path, kept clear of any and all falling anvils and open manhole covers, and did not succumb to any fatal physical ailments. Experts marveled that Smith “even considered this worth mentioning.”

Brick Testament in Heeb magazine

Tuesday, June 7th, 2005

A full-page ad for Rev. Smith’s latest book The Brick Testament: The Ten Commandments can be seen in the latest issue of Heeb magazine, the self-proclaimed “New Jew Review”. Meanwhile in European press news, a short article on The Brick Testament can be seen in the June issue of FHM Portugal, and The Brick Testament’s rendition of The Last Supper was featured in an article about the changing face of LEGO in the April 2005 issue Swiss finance magazine Bilan. These and other newly-scanned items can be seen on the Brick Testament’s press page.

Beardliness is next to godliness

Wednesday, June 1st, 2005

A new H-Net/Fritz media poll reveal that 96% of Americans who believe in God also believe that God has a beard. Of those people, 89% believe that God’s beard is white, 2% believe God grew his beard (and therefore at some time did not have a beard), while 94% believe that God has always had a beard and has never been clean shaven. 10% of Americans do not believe in God.