As the ailing pontiff’s condition worsened over the past 48 hours, one billion Catholics from across the globe came together to pray for the Pope’s health. Their efforts met with success today when God stepped in to human events to restore the Pope to full health. “This miracle is a testament to the power of prayer, and God’s merciful ever-loving kindness,” said Cardinal Godfried Danneels of Belgium. “Now I feel wonderful!” exclaimed a rejuvenated John Paul II before launching into a spirited cartwheel and double somersault. While on Earth, God also made a brief apology for the recent earthquakes and tsunami in Southeast Asia that have killed more than 250,000 people.