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April « 2005 « The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith

Archive for April, 2005

Thumbs-Up, America!™ says Wendy’s

Monday, April 25th, 2005

The Wendy’s corporation has defied conventional wisdom this week with the launch of their Thumbs-Up, America!™ advertising campaign. Banners at the chain’s 6,600 restaurants nationwide invite customers to Try Our Delicious New FingerSandwiches™ or grab a bowl of their All-Thumbs™ Chili. It hasn’t taken long for competing fast-food chains to notice all the free media attention that Wendy’s restaurants have been receiving over the past month. Yesterday the McDonald’s corporation issued a press release stating that a customer in one of their Detroit area restaurants had found an entire human head in his order of fries.

Smith’s Ten Commandments in the press

Thursday, April 21st, 2005

“Thanks to Brendan Powell Smith, you’ll never look at the parting of the Red Sea the same way again” writes Patti Martin in today’s issue of New Jersey’s Asbury Park Press which features an article about Smith’s latest book The Brick Testament: The Ten Commandments. Elsewhere in the press, the Garnett News Service’s interview with Rev. Smith that originally ran in the Des Moines Register has now also been picked up by other Garnett newspapers across the country including The Coloradoan and Florida Today

New pope to sell Vatican treasures, give to poor

Tuesday, April 19th, 2005

On his first day as head of the Catholic church, Pope Benedict XVI shocked the world by announcing his intention to actually follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. “There is nothing more clear in the Bible than this,” the newly-elected pontiff said, “‘Sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor.’” Experts estimate that the pope’s possessions, which now include the Vatican’s vast wealth in the form of securities, gold reserves, real estate, and artistic treasures is likely to bring the world’s poor a financial windfall in the neighborhood of ten to fifteen billion dollars. “That’s money we could use,” said the world’s poor.

The Brick Testament presents: Gideon!

Sunday, April 17th, 2005

The Brick Testament website barrels on with its illustration of the Book of Judges this week with the addition of seven new stories relating the tale of Israel’s fifth judge Gideon. If you’re a fan of divinely orchestrated massacres, brutal vengeance, and/or unexpected decapitations, then these are some Bible stories you are certain to find inspirational. Also new on the Brick Testament site: in celebration of the release of The Ten Commandments in book form, a new custom set of Moses and the Ten Commandments is now available on the Brick Testament merchandise page.

Date with Rev. Smith awkward at best

Monday, April 11th, 2005

The Win a Date with Rev. Smith contest concluded Saturday night with Smith accompanying Terry Hainsworth of Fremont, CA, on a night on the town including a visit to the local public library, a game of table tennis at the YMCA, and dinner at Arby’s. Asked how the date went, randomly-selected winner Hainsworth said that Smith seemed “uncomfortable and a bit standoffish” most of the night, and that their conversations were “stilted at best”. “I guess I just never expected that any, you know, dudes would enter the contest, much less win,” admitted Smith. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. God, I hope I didn’t seem uncomfortable and standoffish the whole time.” Added Smith: “You don’t think he expect me to put out, do you?”

Judge Deborah now presiding

Tuesday, April 5th, 2005

There are not a whole lot of strong female characters presented in the Bible, but today’s addition to The Brick Testament features two such women in the story of Israel’s first and only female judge, Deborah. Come and watch as God once again sends his chosen people into twenty years of cruel oppression only to rescue them by massacring the people he had oppress them for twenty years. And if the endless reptition of these story cycles from Judges is giving you a splitting headache, you will certainly empathize with poor, poor Sisera.

Win a date with Rev. Smith update

Sunday, April 3rd, 2005

Only two days remain to enter your submission for the Win a Date with Rev. Smith contest (see previous post for details). Due to the high volume of entries, we request that you limit all photo attachments to 500kb or less. All submissions whose essays run more than 100 words will be automatically disqualified. Also please remember that you must be 18 years or age or older to enter this contest or have a signed permission slip from your parent and/or legal guardian, signed in triplicate by an authorized notary public or religious authority figure. Best of luck. Contest results will be announced soon.

Prayers convince God to save Pope’s life

Friday, April 1st, 2005

As the ailing pontiff’s condition worsened over the past 48 hours, one billion Catholics from across the globe came together to pray for the Pope’s health. Their efforts met with success today when God stepped in to human events to restore the Pope to full health. “This miracle is a testament to the power of prayer, and God’s merciful ever-loving kindness,” said Cardinal Godfried Danneels of Belgium. “Now I feel wonderful!” exclaimed a rejuvenated John Paul II before launching into a spirited cartwheel and double somersault. While on Earth, God also made a brief apology for the recent earthquakes and tsunami in Southeast Asia that have killed more than 250,000 people.