America lacks national dance craze

Friday, February 11th, 2005 - 5:50 pm PST

After months growing concern, President Bush made public today his pledged to “get America funky again” by taking steps to combat this country’s lack of a national dance craze. “While previous generations have been comforted by the Charleston, the Twist, the Shuffle, the Robot, the Electric Slide, and the Lambada,” said Bush, “America has gone without since the loss of the Macarena in 1999. The time to act on this is now. I have sent members of the CIA to countries in South America, Africa, the Middle East, to infiltrate local dance cultures and report back directly to me.” Until a new dance craze is discovered and popularized, Bush has proposed mandatory use of the Hokey-Pokey at all dance clubs and weddings for the time being.