Theologians scramble to justify massive tsunami

Wednesday, December 29th, 2004 - 9:02 am PST

Days after a massive tsunami killed more than 160,000 people in Southeast Asia, theologians of the world have acted quickly to safeguard their own beliefs by boldly rationalizing this unexpected “act of God”. “God loves us all,” said Rev. Cole David of Durnham, ME, “but need I remind anyone that Indonesia has the largest Muslim population in the world?” “Our God most wise is simply testing the people of Southeast Asia,” explained Rabbi Avi Cohen of Brook Farm, PA. “God had nothing to do with this,” offered Rev. Franz Bern of Munich, cryptically. “Each time they find a child who miraculously survived among the thousands upon thousands of dead, it is a testament to God’s mercy and everlasting grace,” said Rev. James Oleph of Memphis, TN.