Archive for July, 2004

Summer blockbusters fail to bust blocks

Tuesday, July 27th, 2004

There is much concern in the entertainment industry now that this year’s crop of summer blockbusters have failed to bust even a single block. “Major studios are pouring hundreds of millions of dollars into these movies,” noted film industry analyst Mort Flogg, “and for that kind of money, they expect a lot of busted blocks in return. This year, that simply hasn’t been happening.” A string of eminently forgettable movies such as Van Helsing, Troy, King Arthur, I Robot, and The Day After Tomorrow, have been leaving blocks intact all across America. A down-trodden Hollywood is pinning all its hope on the late summer release of Aliens vs. Predator.

Bakula urged to take one final leap

Wednesday, July 14th, 2004

With Ralph Nader still working determinedly to get himself on the ballot in all fifty states, the Democratic National Committee today issued a desperate plea asking actor Scott Bakula to revive his role as Sam Beckett of TV’s Quantum Leap, so that he might “temporarily leap into the body of Ralph Nader and drop out of the race”. Bakula was last employed by the democrats in 1998 to keep Hillary Clinton from divorcing her husband, and says that although he would like to do his part to prevent a Bush win in ‘04, “just taking a single, last jump” is never possible, and that he “would not look forward to another stretch of months, possibly even years spent leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home”.

Dick and Bush to stay united

Friday, July 9th, 2004

Combating rumors that President Bush may be looking to drop Vice-President Cheney for a new running mate in this year’s election, White House spokesman Scott McClellan made clear today that “Bush needs Dick”, and that any other pairing would be “wrong and unnatural”. “Some people have suggested that George’s own brother Jeb would make for a better Vice-Presidential choice,” noted McClellan, “and while there is something exciting about the idea of two Bushes together, most people would rather not see two siblings like that. Others argue that what Bush really needs is a Dick Armey [R, Texas]. But at the end of the day, people have to recognize that the time-honored combination of Bush and Dick is the only one that can truly be productive.”

New Brick Testament book coming this Fall

Wednesday, July 7th, 2004

Rejoice! A new Brick Testament book will be arriving in stores this Fall. The Brick Testament: The Story of Christmas will retell the classic biblical story of the birth of Jesus of Nazareth as never seen before. With more than forty-five full-page color illustrations, The Story of Christmas follows the success of The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith’s first book The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis. Destined to become a holiday favorite, The Story of Christmas will hit stores starting in September and October, and is already available for pre-order with online retailers such as Amazon.com.