Smith on crack

Sunday, April 25th, 2004 - 5:50 pm PDT

Hard up for cash, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith this week singed-up for a medical study on the effects of crack cocaine on healthy male adults between the ages of 25 and 30. The study is being conducted at Stanford University by Dr. Humphrey Wassenbottom. He explains, “Participants have been asked to supplement their normal daily diet with twenty 1/10 gram tablets, or “rocks”, of crack cocaine.” Twelve days into the two-week study, asked how he was feeling, Smith looked up from the floor where had been rocking back and forth in a fetal position for the past several hours, shaking and sobbingly gently, and remarked, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!” Smith will receive $250 for his time, plus 14 cents per mile in gas money.