Men, have you always wanted to look a little thinner around the penis? Do you find yourself envious when you catch sight of a Jewish man wearing no pants? Have you been secretly longing to rid yourself of that cumbersome foreskin, but just never had the time for a lengthy overnight stay at a hospital? Well, now you can stand up proudly and say, “Circumcise me!” because thanks to modern axe technology, The Chopping Block is now offering 8-second circumcisions for the ridiculously low price of only $19.95. Walk-in customers are welcomed. Look for drive-up service to begin in Spring 2005.