Rev. Smith went shopping today for a hook to replace his recently amputated right hand. “Does this hook make me look fat?” Smith was overheard asking fellow shoppers while trying on hook after hook at McAllister’s on 4th Street. Smith ended up forgoing the swankier models for an inexpensive plastic hook that came as part of a Halloween pirate ensemble. “I don’t plan on wearing the eye patch or the plastic parrot on my shoulder too often,” said Smith. “But that puffy shirt is right up my alley.” Smith then sneezed and accidentally hooked himself in the nose while trying to cover it up.