Smith wins race in record time

Saturday, October 4th, 2003 - 8:12 am PDT

Rev. Smith won a race today in record time. “This was an impressive performance,” said Smith’s coach, “I really didn’t think he had it in him.” Others agreed: “I don’t know how he pulled it off,” said a friend, “I’ve never considered Smith particularly ‘fast’.” Many had discounted Smith’s chances before the race even began, due to his unspecified injury. “That injury really looked like it was bothering him at first,” noted one spectator, “but he just took off.” As of press time the nature of this race remained unclear.