US interest rates at all-time low

Saturday, September 13th, 2003 - 7:51 am PDT

US interest rates have dropped for the fourth month in a row, plunging to an all-time low as modern-day Americans just cannot seem to interest themselves in much of anything these days. Despite a sudden surge of interest following the 9/11 attacks, American interest rates have been in steady decline over the past twenty years across the board, whether it be interest in current events, other people’s welfare, or even themselves. “Why bother?” said James Farragan a Pennsylvania steel plant worker, voicing an opinion common to many US citizens, “who cares?”