Though the shocking terrorist attacks of 9/11 happened just over two years ago, the wake of the attack did not hit Smith until early this morning. “Rev. Smith was at the breakfast table eating his cream of wheat when suddenly he got knocked right out of his chair,” said one onlooker. “He stayed on the ground for several minutes, and when he struggled to his feet, he suddenly looked extremely paranoid.” Smith spent the rest of the day stripping away his own personal freedoms, being wary of all foreign nationals, and bombing third-world counties.
Archive for September, 2003
Rev. Smith’s new book The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis is featured on page 78 of this week’s (3 October) issue of Entertainment Weekly. Look for Uma Thurman on the cover. An item about the book can also be found in the recommended reading for Fall section of the October-November issue of Budget Living. Both articles can be seen at the press page over at thebricktestament.com.
President Jacques Chirac surprised allies this morning with the announcement of the unconditional surrender of France. “I didn’t even know anyone was attacking them,” said a bewildered US Secretary of State Colin Powell, “was it us?” By midday no foreign power had claimed responsibility for the alleged attack on France. By 3pm GMT, government spokesperson Jean-François Copé admitted that France’s surrender had been a “knee-jerk” reaction to rumors of a military build-up in neighboring Luxembourg, and by 5pm, an emergency meeting of the French parliament narrowly approved a retraction of the surrender.
“Hilarious!” raves Publisher’s Weekly in their review of Rev. Smith’s The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis. “One has to admire Smith’s LEGO engineering as well as his twisted, keen sense of humor…This creative, iconoclastic book is colorful in every sense of the word, and will be appreciated by LEGO enthusiasts everywhere as well as whimsical Sunday School teachers.” Read the full review on page 60 of the 15 September 2003 issue of Publisher’s Weekly, or on the press page at thebricktestament.com.
US interest rates have dropped for the fourth month in a row, plunging to an all-time low as modern-day Americans just cannot seem to interest themselves in much of anything these days. Despite a sudden surge of interest following the 9/11 attacks, American interest rates have been in steady decline over the past twenty years across the board, whether it be interest in current events, other people’s welfare, or even themselves. “Why bother?” said James Farragan a Pennsylvania steel plant worker, voicing an opinion common to many US citizens, “who cares?”
Ladies and gentlemen of Earth, the first ever Brick Testament book has been officially released. The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis, published by Quirk Books, contains ten classic stories from the first book of the Bible with over 175 illustrated images from the much acclaimed website. This handsome hardcover book can now be found in bookstores across the nation, and is also available through online retailers such as Amazon.com.
E! Online today announced that singer/actress Jennifer Lopez and minor internet celebrity Brendan Powell Smith are engaged to be married. While no date has yet been set for The Reverend to wed his longtime fiancée, it is believed that J. Lo will be marrying boyfriend Ben Affleck sometime in September. Also soon to be married, according to the same article, are Kid Rock and A. J. from The Backstreet Boyz.