Terror alert: green

Tuesday, March 4th, 2003 - 4:30 pm PST

The US government today put Rev. Smith’s personal terror alert at “green”, which indicates that there is no immediate danger of a terrorist attack against Smith. “As long as he stays out of major metropolises, especially New York and Washington, DC, the terror outlook for Rev. Smith looks quite good. Nothing to worry about,” said an aide to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. Earlier in the month, Smith’s terror alert was briefly bumped up to “blue”, or “slightest possibility of danger”, when Smith entered his local town hall to pay his electricity bill.