Archive for December, 2002

Man accused of viewing illustrated Bible

Sunday, December 29th, 2002

UK’s The Sunday Mercury is running a story today about a man who has resigned from his job after having been accused of, among other things, viewing illustrated Bible stories at Although the viewing of illustrated Bible stories is not a crime according to UK law, 65-year-old Pat McLoughlin has had his computer and other personal items seized by police. In addition to viewing Bible stories illustrated in LEGO, McLoughlin is also alleged to have visited a website that assists marriage-minded men find eligible brides.

Smith participates in ‘Yankee swap’

Friday, December 27th, 2002

Eyebrows were raised today when local newspapers leaked that over the holidays The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith had participated in a esoteric group activity known as a ‘Yankee swap’. Strongly denying any wrongdoing on his part, Smith characterized the event, which took place at his uncle’s residence, as a “fun holiday tradition” which “brings great pleasure to all those involved”. He admitted, however, that not all the swapping is necessarily consensual, and that “occasionally someone gets screwed.”

Smith ceases, desists

Wednesday, December 18th, 2002

The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith spent the day ceasing and desisting today after receiving an unexpected cease and desist order in the mail this morning. A lawyer for Rev. Smith issued a statement this evening explaining that there is little that Smith can do in this situation, and that any further activity of any sort on his part would most likely not be in compliance with the cease and desist order. He has therefore strongly advised his client to be on the safe side.

The Ten Commandments

Friday, December 13th, 2002

Thou shalt go to The Brick Testament. Thou shalt see the six new illustrated stories that are now online including The Golden Calf and the Ark of the Covenant. Thou shalt not pass Go. Thou shalt not collect $200. Thou shalt not roll doubles three times, else thou shalt stay in jail for three turns. Thou mayest leasve jail if thou payest $50. Thou mayest also get out of jail by rolling a seven or eleven. Thou shalt not commit adultery. If thou commitest adultery, thou shalt go to jail for three turns.

Vendetta: A Christmas Story

Saturday, December 7th, 2002

It’s that time of year again. Time to settle in with our loved ones, kick back, pour ourselves a big, frosty mug of eggnog, and dump it over our own heads. If you’re like me, then nothing gives you greater while pleasure than than bathing in eggnog watching those classic holiday specials… from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to Vendetta: A Christmas Story. Especially the latter one. Cause it’s awesome.

Save $400 this holiday shopping season!

Sunday, December 1st, 2002

The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith is urging everyone to save $400 this holiday shopping season. “I just have a feeling,” explained Smith, “that otherwise, come January, people are really going to wish they had saved that money.” Smith went on to say that if people don’t feel they can trust themselves not to spend that kind of money during the craziness of Christmas rush, they are welcome to send it to him for safekeeping.