Jesus would invade Iraq

Sunday, October 20th, 2002 - 4:40 pm PDT

Seeking spiritual guidance, US President George W. Bush today paused for a moment to ask himself “What would Jesus do?”. After a moment’s reflection, Bush informed close aids of his absolute certainty sure that if Jesus Christ were president, he would make plans to invade Iraq, killing thousands upon thousands of Iraqi citizens if necessary to further US corporate interests. Once a US-friendly Iraqi government was established, Bush went on, Jesus would then revert to the Reagan-era US policy of selling chemical weapons to Iraq.