Friday, September 27th, 2002 - 9:22 pm PDT

Rev. Smith proved he could play hardball this week when in a balls-out move he pushed himself balls to the wall even when it was cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. “Smith was really on the ball from square one,” said spectator Bill Bollingsworth, “he got the ball rolling when he announced he could hold his own against all comers. He almost dropped the ball at one point when he lost his bearing, but then when he turned it around, I almost balled.” Added Bollingsworth: “That sort of thing takes balls of steel. I’d give my left nut for balls like that.”