Customer service

Wednesday, July 10th, 2002 - 2:11 pm PDT

Noting continued sluggish performance during routine tasks and occasional freeze-ups, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith’s concerned girlfriend decided it was time to call Customer Service. After a two hour wait to even speak to someone, several inane suggestions were made that did not improve the situation, occasionally making it worse. Finally the exasperated representative gave up and handed the phone over to God himself who recommended that Smith be rebooted and his OS reinstalled. This workaround, he explained, will have to suffice until the new patch becomes available this Fall.