Smith falls of face of Earth

Friday, June 28th, 2002 - 11:29 am PDT

Whilst out for a routine stroll around the block this morning, Rev. Smith accidentally tripped on a discarded fax machine and went tumbling right off the face of the Earth. This is the third time such an event has happened to him this week and scientists are working around the clock to understand why it is that gravity does not appear to be holding Smith down as well as it should, but so far have made little progress. In the meantime they are urging Smith to put on an extra 50 to 60 lbs. to keep himself a little better anchored.