The perfect alibi

Monday, February 11th, 2002 - 4:16 am PST

After months of tossing out countless flimsy excuses and unlikely stories, Rev. Smith announced today that he has finally arrived at the perfect alibi. Guaranteed to avert all blame and a surefire bet to avoid any possibility of punishment, Smith told reporters that he is saving the alibi “for a very special occasion”. In a seemingly unrelated story, Smith announced today that he has begun work on devising the perfect crime.