100% of men are homosexual

Friday, January 11th, 2002 - 12:12 pm PST

A new study published today by the Kinsey Institute reveals the surprising statistic that 100% of all men are homosexual. This new finding updates the long held belief that gays counted for a mere 10% of the general population. “According to our findings,” explained Dr. Yung Moustaff, “the old 10% statistic only covers those men who are openly gay. We now believe that the other 90% are either ‘in the closet’ or in an unhealthy state of denial.” Also revealed in the study is that only 1 in 20 men have ever masturbated to orgasm.