Shit out of luck

Monday, November 12th, 2001 - 10:54 am PST

The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith revealed today that he is shit out of luck. “I don’t want to get into the details,” said an exhausted Smith, slumped over a podium and dressed in pajamas, “but suffice it to say recent events have conspired in such a way as to have left me in a state which can best be summed up as ’shit out of luck’.” Asian markets were off 1.7% as investors nervously wait to see what affect Smith’s announcement will have on the US economy.