Salt water: too salty

Wednesday, August 8th, 2001 - 4:42 pm PDT

A recent poll reveals that the vast majority of Americans find salt water to be “too salty”. Taking immediate action on the issue, President Bush today announced plans to remove large quantities of salt from the world’s oceans - or at least those which border the US. Noting that the same poll also showed that a significant majority finds the ocean’s waters “too cold”, Bush announced he was looking into long-term plans to heat the world’s ocean waters to “a more reasonable temperature”.