Cure for summertime blues

Thursday, August 2nd, 2001 - 2:05 pm PDT

Though most of the US is suffering through one of the worst heatwaves on record, there is now reason to cheer. After months of diligent laboratory work, Rev. Smith and a team of dedicated scientists have finally found a successful cure for the summertime blues. “For decades now a cure has eluded us,” said Smith at a press conference today, “and for years it seemed are efforts were in vain. But just last week we finally stumbled upon it. As it turns out, the cure for the summertime blues is penicillin.”